BW 034: Sue Peters Love, Gratitude, and Service

Watch the video here or on YouTube; listen anywhere podcasts are played (Apple, Spotify, Google…)

The Transcript is below.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

In episode 34 of the Brave Widow show we have a really amazing person. Her name is Sue Peters. She is a fellow widow and she's going to share some parts of her story and some insights of what she's learned through her grief journey, and Sue is just a beautiful person on the inside and out.

Sue is from Indiana. She was married to her husband John for almost 35 years until his untimely passing due to the bursting of his pancreas and the complications that arose from that.

She has three grown and married children who have wonderful spouses, three awesome grandkids, and three fun Grand Pups. The new Road of Widowhood has led her on a very interesting soul journey of finding and getting to know and love the new Sue Peters.

She is passionate about sharing the life, love and joy that can be found even on such a challenging road. She hopes that by sharing her stories, she can bring hope and a new view of life to those who face similar challenges, as well as a deeper connection to the stories we all hold as we walk this road of life together.

We talk about:

~ Gratitude being a huge part of the grief journey

~ The importance of loving yourself

~ Don't be afraid in stepping out

Quotes:

~ "There's also gratitude just that I'm still alive, and I still have a lot to be thankful for every single day, I wake up and the sun's shining. There's beautiful nature around me. And it helps me to realize that life is a gift. And that John maybe had his purpose and he lived his purpose. But I still have a purpose also. And, my purpose is important. And and it's important to share that with the world."

"Loss comes in so, so many ways. But if we step out and have the little bit of courage to say, Hey here's a little bit of my story. What's your story? You'll probably be surprised that everyone's more very willing to share what they've been through and it brings out love in a whole new way."

 

You can find Sue on:

Facebook | Heart To Soul Links

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future.  Learn more at bravewidow.com.  

 

Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones

I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together.  My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future.  I want to help others do the same, too!

 

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter @brave_widow

Instagram @brave_widow

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bravewidow

YouTube@bravewidow

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Transcription:

Emily Jones: [00:00:00] hey. Welcome to The Brave Widow Show. Today I have. Really an amazing person. Her name is Sue. She is a fellow widow and she's gonna share some parts of her story and some insights of what she's learned through her grief journey, and Sue is just a beautiful person on the inside and out.

She has such a beautiful heart. She has been very giving to others, very helpful. She really has an amazing mindset of gratitude and service, and I think you're really gonna hearing from her today. So let me introduce you to her. So Sue Peters is from Indiana. She was married to her husband John for almost 35 years until his untimely passing due to the bursting of his pancreas and the complications that arose from that.

She has three grown and married children who have wonderful spouses, three awesome grandkids, and three fun Grand [00:01:00] Pups. The new Road of Widowhood has led her on a very interesting soul journey of finding and getting to know and love the new Sue Peters. Isn't that true? As widows, we really have to rediscover ourselves.

All right? She is passionate about sharing the life, love and joy that can be found even on such a challenging road. She hopes that by sharing her stories, she can bring hope and a new view of life to those who face similar challenges, as well as a deeper connection to the stories we all hold as we walk this road of life together.

And Sue shares her stories. On Facebook, we'll be sure to put the link in the show notes. She will share that towards the end. But as always if you don't have a way to search her up or write it down, we'll have that in the show links. So, all right, let's dive in.

All right, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of The Brave Widow Show, and I have to tell you that I am super excited about [00:02:00] having Sue on the show today. I might have asked her three or four different times to think about coming on and sharing her story and just talking about some of the things that she's learned through grief, and I am really happy that she agreed to do that.

Sue's a beautiful person on the inside and out and has so many insightful observations about grief and the journey and how she is proactively working on her healing that I thought it would just really be great to share that with you. So Sue, thank you so much for joining me on

Sue Peters: the show today.

Well, thank you so much, Emily.

I so appreciate working with you and all the great conversations that we've had, even though it has to do with grief. There, there's a commonality that we share and and it's good to have a person to be real with and who understands, plus enjoys a good conversation. And I always appreciate that with you.

And thank you so much for inviting me.

Emily Jones: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I'm Sue's part of our brave Widow community [00:03:00] and she participates in a lot of our live events and it just always adds something special and is always something that I enjoy. But Sue, why don't you tell people, some about you and also just walk us through part of your story, whatever you're comfortable with

Sue Peters: sharing.

Okay. Well, my name is Sue Peters and I'm 57 years old. I was married to a wonderful man named John. He was my best friend and we had three kids together. They are all three married now to wonderful spouses. I have three amazing grandkids that I love so, so much. And thank goodness John was able to learn and know all about all of them and be with all of them in their lives for a little while.

And, we were very grateful. Part of our story where it takes the sad turn is my son, my youngest son, Seth and his wife Mallory, it was the day of their wedding and we had gotten together two days before for the rehearsal and the dinner and the next day we went to my other son's house and played with the grandkids [00:04:00] cuz the wedding wasn't until Saturday.

And, and then everything was going along fine. And on Saturday couple hours before the wedding, John was in his tuxedo already and everything, but he started having some stomach pains, which ended up landing him in the bathroom with a lot more pain. And to the point that we had to call an ambulance.

So, his brother went with him to, to the hospital while I went over to the wedding, which was in about an hour. And at the point we thought maybe it was just gallbladder because it was something that was a possibility and that's what it seemed to be pointing to. So we weren't super worried and went to the wedding and And we all had a, we were able to celebrate and, kept checking on John, but we made it through the day and enjoyed the celebration with my son and his new wife.

So then the next day we, the doctor said, oh, he'll probably get to go home in a day or two. And everything seemed okay, but then all of a sudden he took a turn and things changed really fast and he ended up. Having his pancreas burst [00:05:00] and it took out all of his organs on the inside, which we didn't know at the time, but that's what we ended up finding out.

And so basically he was put on dialysis. He was transferred to another hospital by a lifeline ambulance, and ended up in the hospital for four and a half months and never came home. He passed away on Valentine's Day after a valiant effort trying so hard to keep going. So we were so proud of him that he did that, that he showed so much courage and strengths for all of us, but boy, it sure hit us all very hard.

He was a beautiful person and a beautiful man, and touched so, so many lives, that it was, I had so many people connecting with me and trying to contact me. And it was during Covid and nobody could visit and it was just all really crazy. But somehow we got through, somehow you get the strength and you go through, and then as time goes on you.

I just I missed him. I missed seeing him and being with him, but at the same time I was happy that he wasn't suffering anymore because to me that was really hard to see the pain of him going through all of those things. And I felt like the computer, [00:06:00] when it just goes spin, and and you don't know what to do.

You don't know how to pray. You don't know, you know What's what. And it's very frustrating seeing a loved one sick. So I felt better that he was free and he was not in pain. And now I had to figure out how life could go on. But but I have a very strong faith and God and I have a very strong family support and friends support and, I had a moment when John was in the hospital that, that I did question God and I got mad at God and I said, it was a day that he didn't really know who he was.

His mind and body were failing. And and I had stayed longer into the day. I usually left early enough to to catch a sunset on the way home and get home cuz I was staying with my grandkids and make sure that they could get to bed on time. But this night I stayed a little bit longer and I came back and I says, God what's wrong?

Why is everything going bad? And I slammed my hand on the dashboard cause I, I was really frustrated and I said, where are you? God, where are you? I don't even get my sunset tonight. And as I drove around the corner of the highway, and [00:07:00] went under a bridge all in, in front of me, opens up the sky in the last remnants of a purple and orange and yellow sunset that I could see spanning all the way from the west to the east as far it was endless.

And I was like, Okay. God, I know you're with me. I know you're with me, and I'll get through this no matter what it is. And so that moment I think really solidified for me that everything going forward after John died it gave me the strength to go through anything else after that because I knew I wasn't alone.

I wasn't having to be alone even though I was at home alone and had to do a lot of things by myself. I was never alone. And so that strength got me to do a lot of things that I think I never would've done before I part of it you have to, you don't have a choice. You have to go through and figure out the funeral.

You have to figure out the paperwork. You have to pick a plot and to bury them. You have to deal with people on a multiple levels, business-wise and people-wise. Just in the in your life, daily life. And it's all [00:08:00] hard. It's very challenging and, you don't wish it upon anybody once you go through it.

But you learned from it. I learned so many things and, I think another thing that I really learned is don't be afraid to take a step forward. Because every single step I took, I was afraid. I literally was scared every single step I took, but I somehow had the courage knowing I wasn't by myself.

Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. And all of a sudden, I did it. I did it. I did it. Okay. I got through this, I got through that, I got through that. And then I started connecting with lots of different people on and a lot of it was, part of it was through programs for grief, like hospice and on, there were lot, so many online programs and summits. So I had a friend get me into the Hospice Zoom, which led to another, summit online that, that introduced me to some new people and new perspectives on grief and helped me to realize I wasn't by myself. I think that's a whole nother thing. Connections help us to feel we're not alone. And when we reach out and connect to someone that knows our own story in some way, shape or form. We feel comforted [00:09:00] that someone understands us, so they, someone gets us. And, and that helps tremendously. Then it also led me to start realizing that I need other focuses also, that I can't just focus on grief, by finding some other online programs.

I, I found that I was learning new things that I never knew before, and I, I. Connected with new thoughts and new perspectives and new ideas and, and this really helped me to grow. It also helped me to be very grateful. One thing I really wanna share is that although it seems kind of odd, gratitude is a huge part of my healing journey.

For one way Gratitude came into play because our whole family was in a car accident 23 years ago, and John was hurt really badly. He probably should have died. He had both legs and ankles broken, and he was in two casts. Our our son had, his colon had ha have seven inches of his colon removed.

And our other two kids, had gone through their own traumas and I had a, my face, I was all smashed against the dashboard. I had to get surgery. So we had to get through [00:10:00] all that. And we did. And we did it together. But this time I didn't have John to get through it. I had to do it myself, but I had strength from the other time before, and my first reaction was, Well, I'm grateful to God that he didn't die in the accident because that would've been a way harder time for me when my kids were in like first grade, third grade, and sixth grade.

And now they were all married. And so that helped with me getting through it. And I was just grateful for all the memories we had for the times that he taught me things. He, there are so many things that he told me in my head, To learn how to do this, to learn how to do that, and things that we had to do to help him while he was not able to walk for, cuz he had to have four more surgeries after the first one.

So we had to learn and we had to grow as a family then, which made us stronger into this situation. So, there's gratitude for that. And then there's also gratitude just that I'm still alive, and I still have a lot to be thankful for every single day, I wake up and the sun's shining. There's beautiful nature around me.

And it helps me to realize that life is a [00:11:00] gift. And that John maybe had his purpose and he lived his purpose. But I still have a purpose also. And, my purpose is important. And and it's important to share that with the world. Like John shared it with the world. He had so many people write so many beautiful things about him, from his workplace, from our neighbors, from old friends, from a long time ago.

So many beautiful stories that they shared and they cried so many tears for him because they loved him too, because he was love. And and so, It made me grateful for him, for all the love that he taught me and what he taught our children and our grandchildren, and all the people he met, his brothers, his family, and he helped us to know that.

That life is fragile and it's important. And we can't, we have to treasure it. We can't just take it for granted. And so that's what I decided I wanted to do with my life is not take it for granted, be grateful. I also feel that connection is so very important. So when we start connecting with other people and connecting our [00:12:00] stories, we find a love there that's that's way more important than what we thought was important in the world. Before John died I thought so many little things were so important and I would get frustrated over this or that or the other thing. And, and could have lived a better quality of life if I wouldn't have done that. But because I, understood now that these things.

Are kind of minor in the scheme of things, but what's important is love and gratitude and connection. So I started bonding more with people and becoming more aware and of things in nature and of the love that surrounds me, whether it's from God through nature, whether it's from other people and their caring and their kindnesses.

If it's from other people trying to help me to step forward and challenge me to look, to step forward even when I don't want to. But still having that, that ability and that support to do that to me all those things were very important. And I'm super grateful for every single person that has come into my life since John passed because it's really strange.

[00:13:00] But it it's actually expanded my life in so many beautiful ways that I can never even, I can't even be thankful enough for all of the beautiful things that have come into my life because of different people and opportunities. And another thing I learned that's really important is to love myself.

I, I always loved myself, but I never. I think I did it fully, a hundred percent. So I decided that I really need to do that because I kind of was still looking at my life as John's wife and I was living with those dreams that already ended, and I had a lot of great dreams that came true and they were wonderful, but I did not have any new ones of my own going forward.

And so that was a sense of, Depression, sort of, because life's over kind of, but it really wasn't, I realized. That I have to love me myself, or I can't go forward. So I kind of came up with a, an interesting thing. I decided to marry my heart. I I said I, I'm going to love myself and commit to [00:14:00] myself a hundred percent.

So, I actually went out, I bought a heart ring for myself and I said I'm going to, Use this to commit to myself and step forward. And, I did that. I even had a little ceremony where I went outside and I connected with all of the universe. I know John was present and my mom and dad and all who have gone before me and in the presence of God and his beautiful creation and universe, I said, I do commit to my heart.

And I even took myself on a little honeymoon this little past week and and you won't even believe how beautiful that was. I connected into so many more people that actually connected into my story too, because some of them had their own stories of where they also had lost their husbands at younger ages and with kids to care for and things.

And we connected. All of a sudden our stories were real. Someone, I had no clue who they were in a place four hours away from my house. And all of a sudden we were connected as best friends, and, and so, I encourage anyone who's going through grief, [00:15:00] I know if it's brand new and it's raw right now.

Those things are hard to think of, but know that there's hope and know that there's other people out there that are living your same story in some way, shape or form. And, don't be afraid to step out. Don't be afraid to talk to people because More people have been through things than you realize.

There's, everyone's experienced grief in some way, shape or form. There's loss comes in so, so many ways. But if we step out and have the little bit of courage to say, Hey here's a little bit of my story. What's your story? You'll probably be surprised that everyone's more very willing to share what they've been through and it brings out love in a whole new way.

It's a real love. It's not a love that's what the world makes of it. It's real and it's important. And I think if we can all connect on these levels, our world will become stronger.

Emily Jones: Yeah, definitely. So remind me, has it just been two years or three years since you lost John?

Sue Peters: I lost John on Valentine's Day of 2021. So two years in February. [00:16:00] Yes.

Emily Jones: Yeah, so I think that if I was that, newer widow and I'm in that first few months or first year that I look at you and you're just like this beautiful, glowing radiance of someone who has joy and gratitude and love and the ability to connect.

And in those first few weeks and months, you don't even know if you'll ever be able to laugh again. And there's a huge bridge that has to be crossed to almost reach the destination where you are, which still carries sadness and still can be really difficult for people. So what would you say would be some things that people could do or that really helped you, especially earlier on, to make the journey from where you were then to even where you are now?

Sue Peters: Yeah, that's a great question because it's really hard. The first six months to the first year, and even now, I [00:17:00] still, I, whenever I drive somewhere, I have tears in my eyes and I think of John every day. I never, I still have my other ring on too. But I think that to get through those first months, you have to give yourself time.

You have to give yourself time. Allow yourself to cry. Allow yourself some alone time. Alone time. In the beginning, of just settling in with your own self is big. You have to get comfortable with yourself before you can take that next step into the world because sometimes just taking a step to get out of bed and go to, to the bathroom is hard enough.

Or even just to open your eyes is hard enough. And so, I think the thing that helped me the most is just taking a step, whatever it is. And it's different every day. But every time you're a little bit scared, every time you're a little bit sad. You can sit in it for a while and then take a step forward.

Take time to also nurture yourself and love yourself and care for yourself in the sense of, honoring your own heart. It doesn't mean you have to get your nails done or anything. You just, you have to honor your own heart. And know that that your love[00:18:00] was important with that person, that it mattered.

And that entering into the, that mattering of it brings the gratitude of that person and those memories and, and helps you to think of that person in a special way and honor them without feeling like You' re letting them go forever. You're honoring them and bringing them actually closer into your heart, and that actually helps you to become stronger.

I think it, it helps you to solidify your relationship in a new way. It's definitely changed. You can't go back. You can't change it. It, you wish you could, you wish you, you had a magic wand that could come and bring him home or, talk to him one more time. Or or, do something to change the situation, but you can't it is what it is.

And so, I think just naming it for yourself and honoring the person and yourself is important.

Emily Jones: Yeah. I think so too, just like feeling in the moment what those feelings and emotions are and giving yourself grace is a really big one [00:19:00] that you mentioned and just saying, some days it may just be a bad day, or maybe you just have a bad moment, but you're willing to be patient and give yourself grace and realize that tomorrow's a new day.

And we live in this very interesting world of I'm happy and sad at the same time. I am excited and, not excited at the same time. So, how has it been, with your family? I know you've got your kids and your grandkids and I can't even really imagine the difficulty of having the association between your son's wedding and also losing, the health of your husband that really kind of started on that day.

 How have things been with your family and how that has changed how you interact now?

Sue Peters: Yeah it was extremely devastating to all of us. Like literally John was the kind of person that was like, you just put duct tape on it and keep going, so, That's what we expected him to do.

Put duct tape on it and keep going. He'll get through this cuz he got [00:20:00] through everything else and he's, his whole life, he's gotten through really hard things and he always made it. And so we all just kept thinking he is gonna make it. And so having him not make it through was like the biggest challenge of it all.

And just to wrap our minds around it, I mean, Still at times we say, how did this ever happen? You just can't even believe it cuz it's someone that wasn't even sick and all of a sudden he was. And and so my kids, dealt with it in their own ways. And. Whenever we got together we would talk about it.

We never hesitate to tell his stories or say his name. I think that's very important as saying their name. I can't imagine not every time, every single time I heard John's name or we, we talk with the kids' dad or grandpa. It was important. We all connected right in as soon as we would hear, their name or his name.

And and I think that's a really important thing to always keep talking about them and keep the memories flowing because that keeps him alive in a lot of ways. And it also helps us to live what he lived and carry it forward in new ways, which I think is really important.

I know, I mean, I can't even imagine for my son and his [00:21:00] wife how. Challenging it is for them on the anniversary day. Yes. I know it was challenging for me because now I have kind of two anniversary dates of the one him getting sick and the one of him dying. And so both, both those days have bittersweet memories for me.

But thank goodness for the celebration of my son's wedding in the sense of we, we had something good to celebrate. And and in some ways, He's still a part of that because he's part of our family. And you can't erase that. He was part of all of our hearts. So, that part was all right.

But he's, I think everything comes with a blessing and everything comes with a challenge, right? So, so having him. Get sick on that day was sad, but at the same time, we're always gonna remember it. Same thing with Valentine's Day. When he first died on Valentine's Day, I was like, oh geez, now he is died on Valentine's Day.

Two bad things. But then when I think, the more I thought about it, the more I thought, it's not a bad thing because that's the day of hearts and love. And that's what John was. And now everybody's gonna remember that day that he died on Valentine's Day. As a matter of fact I did a lot of.

What I call those signs from John that I feel [00:22:00] like that he's still with me and that to let me know that he's okay and part of them are hearts and I actually have this heart that I'll tell this story after I show it, but it's a heart that looks like it has deer antlers on it.

And John loved deer. He loved being in the woods. He did deer hunt too, but he hardly ever got one. But he at least loved watching 'em. He always would come home with a story. So I was going to my nephew's baseball game, and this leaf just blows up around my leg. And falls to the ground. It wasn't fall, it was the middle of summer and it wasn't even super windy.

It just happened to blow up around my leg. And then I looked at it and it was a heart shape. I was like, oh, that's cool. And I picked it up and it had what looks like the buck antlers on there. And I was like, oh my gosh, is this like John saying hi to me? So, So I, and there's so many times that hearts have shown up for me, like all of over these last two years, like numerous times in all different ways in my cereal and my tortilla chips, all different kinds of ways.

And, but anyway, it's just a connection knowing that he's there. So, so, I guess any situation you can, change it to something better in the [00:23:00] way your perspective is. So, so our kids have gotten through it. My grandkids too, we've we've spent, a lot of times talking and mostly we're just proud of who he was, so we keep that going.

I keep the light shining.

Emily Jones: I love that. And, I think it's such a great example of your mindset and how you are as a person to think about Valentine's Day and at first be like, oh man, it's Valentine's Day. I lost the love of my life. Then on the other hand, be able to look at it and say, well that is really nice because I loved him and he loved me and it's all about love on that day, and just be able, being able to look at it with some sort of, Positive frame of mind and then having that even expanded to your heart ring and your heart leap.

And I know most of you guys won't know, but Sue just tells all kinds of stories about things that happen and I'm always like, ha, you can't even make this stuff up. It's pretty incredible that things that you're able to see. But I think part of that is because, [00:24:00] You have your eyes open to see them, and you are looking for a sign a positive reflection, just something instead of just having a negative outlook on, how miserable things are, which is really difficult, especially in the, those first few months and in that first year.

So I really wanna commend you for that.

Sue Peters: It is. Yeah, it is challenging and I'm not gonna say it was easy at all. I mean, seriously, every time anything happened, I'd start crying and maybe that's why I could see things so clearly cause I cried so much that my eyes were cleared away. Oh. It's highly possible.

It's, yeah, it's definitely not an easy journey and and I don't pretend it to be, I spent a lot of days in my house just bawling my eyes out and still do I, there's still days I do. It does get easier in a lot of ways as time goes on, but it, you never ever lose that love that you have with that person.

And, I will never lose that love with John. And I'm, he was a tremendous part of my energy actually right now, that, [00:25:00] that gets me motivated to go forward. Cuz he was a doer. He wanted to get things done. He's he doesn't just sit around and he had lots of reasons to sit around cuz his legs weren't in the best of shape, but he still did things.

And, and it motivates me to do more too. I should since I'm looking at it right now here's just one more sign of. Of John when I was in line at Christmas I was in this long line at the store just waiting and waiting to get through, and there happened to be a table of jewelry out there.

And so I was just looking at it just cuz I was standing there and I saw this and it's, it says, oh, love you forever and always. And I go, oh, that's really sweet. And I kind of thought of John oh, that, that's kind of neat, well then when I really looked at it's. It's the infinity sign with a heart, if you can see.

But but John was actually born at eight oh eight in the morning and he was eight pounds and eight ounces, and his mom used to say that all the time. So, so this is like a sideways eight, and it made me think of John and then it made me realize like I felt like he was saying, this is your Christmas gift.

Take it. It's a gift from me like he can give me, they'll give me something even though he is not here. I even tease with my brother-in-laws and [00:26:00] sister-in-laws, which is his brothers, because they know how John was like not a spender. He didn't like, like to give a lot of gifts or spend money on gifts and oh, that's kind of just a holiday.

They make it up. And so, I said, he is giving me more gifts now that he died than even when he was alive. And they laughed their heads up. So now I just always laugh whenever I get something special from John. I th I thank him and thank him. So it's kind of fun though. And it's a beautiful necklace.

Yeah, it is. And I really, it really it's another comforting feeling. And that's another thing you can do is gift yourself with something you know. Whether it's something that you think they're giving to you or something that reminds you of them, that you find yourself, get it, wear it and think of them because that's another thing that helps you through that.

I touch our wedding ring all the time. I have it on, and I always feel him as part of me with that, so it doesn't go away. It's really special.

Emily Jones: Oh, I love that. Well, I know that you started a resource or at least a place to share some of your stories for people.

So do you mind to share how they can find that or if they really liked your story and wanted to talk to you how they could reach out to you?

Sue Peters: [00:27:00] Sure. I, I started writing on my Facebook page some stories. It's sort of connecting us with our our bodies and our spirits are connecting us with our loved ones.

So I call what I call it is Heart Two Soul Links. So it's on, I switched it now to its own page, so it would be under www dot Facebook slash heart, two Soul links, H e a r t o s o u L I N K S. And and on there I've been what happens is something will come up like a I'll post a picture that has a sign of something that, that hit me, something that came up for me that, that relates to a story.

I'd have, I also have my story about my ring and and my new adventure in life. Too. So it's just kind of stories that are connecting us and I want it to be a place where people can share their stories too. So if you have a story of connection in any way, shape, or form to your loved one, to, to the stories I share please post it on there.

Also along [00:28:00] with it because I really feel the more we, we connect with our hearts and souls, The more we expand together and the more, more connected we all really will be. And then life isn't so hard. It's really hard to do life alone, but the more we're connected life just, it flows a whole lot easier.

And I like to think of life as more like a river. You're flowing on the river and of life, and it's not always easy. Sometimes you hit a big boulder and crash. Sometimes you hit the rapids and you flip over. But sometimes you hit these really pretty scenic parts that are super quiet and calm and peaceful that are just beautiful and you just wanna soak it in.

And other times you meet some people along the way as you're go going down the river. And then other times after you get through the really hard parts, You get into this most beautiful view around the bend that just blows your mind and takes your breath away. So if you, if we look at life like a river we can get through those hard parts and navigate through without having to work too hard about it.

Just let it happen and allow it to happen. And God kind of takes us where we [00:29:00] need to go if we let 'em, I, I think that trusting in our faith, also helps us To not worry and get so anxious and stressed out about what's happening in our life. And it helps us also not to be afraid.

I've learned not to be afraid. I used to be afraid of so many things, and I've learned that by trusting and surrendering, I don't have to be afraid anymore. I don't have to worry and be anxious. It still happens. That's not, I'm human and it still happens, but it's a lot easier when that you have someone else that's watching out for you and

and you're being carried along through this life and there's a reason for it,

Emily Jones: yeah, I agree. And I think. Losing Nathan made me even more, in some ways I was less anxious because my priorities shifted and things changed, but then in other ways I became not really anxious, but just would second guess everything and not, and be really unsure of.

Well, is this the best decision? Is it the right thing to do? So it's definitely a strange experience. But like you said, I think we have to surrender, have [00:30:00] faith, make the best decisions that we can, and know that ultimately what we actually control is pretty small in life. Yeah. It's usually just ourselves,

Sue Peters: so it's really true.

Yeah. Yeah we don't know what's ahead of us and we can't worry about it. We be present in this day is a gift, and the people in our lives are gifts. And, and if we can walk through each day like that it's like you get through, no matter how hard it is there, there's, on those really hard days, just knowing that just that's what got me through, yeah.

Emily Jones: Well, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story and some of the things that you've learned that have helped you through grief. I think you've done a really nice job trying to be proactive in your healing and trying to give back to others and practicing gratitude. And I think the three things that you really mentioned there.

Let's see where love. Gratitude and connection and yeah, I don't think I could have said it any better, so.

Sue Peters: Well, thanks so much for having me on and letting me share my [00:31:00] story. I'm just very grateful to be part of the Brave Widow community and it is, it's a wonderful place to, to find healing and peace and and a place to step forward also with.

Surrounded by people who who are there to be supportive and help you to take your best step forward.

Emily Jones: Well, thank you. It's definitely a more beautiful place having you there.

Sue Peters: Well, thank you Emily. Thank you for creating it for so many people.

 

Emily Jones: Hey guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Brave Widow Podcast. I would love to help you take your next step, whether that's healing your heart, finding hope, or achieving your dreams for the future.

Do you need a safe space to connect with other like-minded widows? Do you wish you had how-tos for getting through the next steps in your journey, organizing your life or moving through grief? What about live calls where you get answers to your burning questions? The Brave Widow Membership Community is just what you [00:32:00] need.

Inside you'll find courses to help guide you, a community of other widows to connect with, live coaching and q and a calls, and small group coaching where you can work on what matters most to you. Learn how to heal your heart, find hope, reclaim joy, and dream again for the future. It is possible. Head on over to brave widow.com to learn more.