BW 085: Widow's Heart: and Tale of Loss, Love, and Liberation
Feb 14, 2024Watch the video here or on YouTube; listen anywhere podcasts are played (Apple, Spotify, Google…)
The Transcript is below.
Content warning: Smoke, Death
This is Sue Peters from Highland, Indiana. Valentine's Day is the 3 year anniversary of losing her beloved husband, John. She thought losing him on this day of love would make it even harder to deal with since it would pop up every year on the day everyone else is celebrating their person. Thank goodness she was wrong! It ended up being such a blessing in disguise! Not only do hearts keep appearing in her life almost as special gifts to make her smile, but it also has helped her become aware of her own heart and how important it became to love herself 100% and to allow her heart to be healed after learning how to deal with her own broken and shattered heart! It has led her to write a book that will be published this year about how a dream to marry her heart changed her life! Sue has learned so much walking on this road of widowhood, being inspired and supported by so many widows sharing their own challenging stories from this Brave Widow Community and rising up to face the journey in so many new and positive ways! She has now found purpose in loving her own heart more deeply and in sharing with the hearts of others encouraging more connection and courage to keep stepping forward! She is the Mom of three wonderful adult children who are married to equally wonderful spouses and has three amazing grandkids and three lively grandpups and loves any time she gets to spend with any or all of them!
Sue Recommends:
- Find support
- that we also have to connect to our own, um, spirituality, our own, our own inner guidance, the divine that's within us
- start sharing our stories,
Quote:
'' I learned that the more that your heart gets shattered and broken, that's the way the light gets in.
you can love yourself from the inside out.
''I decided to marry my heart first.
''I started doing that with people all through the town and we all had like our own special love stories in all different ways that that ended up connecting me and saying, Oh, if we all start sharing our stories, it, it goes deeper into the heart. It's not just you. You know, hey, hi, how are you? Our stories connect to our hearts. And so then it's not such a sad story losing your person or losing something, you know, through grief in some way. You're actually allowed to start connecting into your heart in deeper ways. And that I think is what made a difference for me, that it turned something sad into something, um, that could make a positive difference in other people's lives. And And so it was just, it made me have the energy and the courage to want to go forward. It, it like brought the passion alive again.''
''The love doesn't get less. It just kept growing, and it continues to since that day. And it is sometimes, I think, difficult to imagine and a strange concept, but you can have a relationship with your person and you can feel their spirit very close to you, especially if you have your eyes open and you're looking for those opportunities.''
'' we also have to connect to our own, um, spirituality, our own, our own inner guidance, the divine that's within us because sometimes we, we are disconnected and sometimes grief really disconnects us because it's, It's like you go through sometimes a crisis of faith when your loved one dies, like, well, where's God, you know, and why is he not helping me, and why are my prayers in vain, and, and it started making me see that that's not, that's not true, that it's all within us, and we can find it still, it's, and that's what can help us, to get through all these things.
You can find Sue on:
www.susan-peters.com facebook.com/hearttosoullinks
The Brave Widow Community is a place where you can connect with other widows, find hope and healing, and begin to dream again for the future. Learn more at bravewidow.com.
Hey guys, I’m Emily Jones
I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary. Nathan and I have four beautiful children together. My world was turned completely upside down when I lost him. With faith, community, and wisdom from others, I’ve been able to find hope, joy, and dream again for the future. I want to help others do the same, too!
FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:
Twitter | @brave_widow
Instagram | @brave_widow
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/
YouTube | @bravewidow
Transcript:
Video
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Emily Jones: [00:00:00] Hey, hey, and welcome to episode number 85 of the Brave Widow show. You guys, at the time that this podcast, this show episode publishes. On February 14th, I will be married, which is exciting and crazy to think about all at the same time. I have been engaged since October, and it's now January, and the time has just flown by so fast.
Robert is the most amazing and wonderful man he is. Everything and even more than what I prayed for, what I hoped for, and what I get to experience in this next part of my life. And I just feel so incredibly honored and blessed and feeling all of the feelings as it gets closer [00:01:00] and closer to our wedding date.
And it's Just so exciting. So before we dive in today's episode, I want to share with you an event that's coming up and
it's coming up on February 28th, I'm going to be hosting a special workshop on the top mistakes that you're making in dating as a widow. And you don't even realize it. Look, I was super curious about dating really early on. It had nothing to do with how much I love Nathan, how happy I was with our relationship, with any of those things.
It was purely curiosity. Nathan and I were married. Right at 20 years, and I got married 10 days after I turned 18. So, back in my day, there were no dating apps, [00:02:00] there were no Tinder horror stories, and inappropriate pictures, and all of these things that were the ruckus of what I had heard from other people, and so I was super curious what dating in this new and crazy stage of life was going to be like.
Let me tell you, I wasted a ton of time, so I'm going to host a special session on February 28th. When I was able to stop making those mistakes, when I was able to really focus my mindset on not looking for a person out of loneliness, or out of trying to fill a void or a hole, or to try to feel complete in some way, when I really focused on creating a life that I loved, even if I never found another person, whoo!
Even if I was going to be single and widowed the rest of my life, [00:03:00] that it would still be a life I was excited about. I still had goals I was chasing. I still had things I look forward to. I really had to get to that point so that I could look for someone who would. Make my life sweeter and not someone I would be making concessions for.
I wanted someone who could make my life exponentially better. Not someone that I was constantly having to make compromises or lower my standards or change my values. And I learned so much in my dating experience, if you know me. You know, I am an eternal student. So what was like the first things I started doing when I was thinking about dating again is.
Yes, I bought the books. I watched the videos. I listened to the podcast. I consumed hours and hours and hours of content. I learned about attachment styles, which up until then, I didn't even know was a thing. I have learned [00:04:00] so much. About people and relationships and about attracting the person that you're looking for.
Listen, if you keep attracting the wrong type of person in your life, you're going to have to start doing things a little bit differently. And that was something that I continued to struggle with until I stopped making some of these same mistakes that I was making over and over and over again. And I am going.
To spill the tea and give you what you need to know to stop making some of those same mistakes in my free live event workshop on dating on February 28th. So, if you are hearing this, when this episode is published on the 14th, or you're hearing it before the 28th, there's still time for you to sign up.
You can go to BraveWidow. com slash dating, [00:05:00] D A T I N G, or if you're not on our email list, which you should be by now, but if you're not, we have an email list where if you sign up, I send you the links to all of these events and you don't have to sign up for them. You just. Click a link in the email. It auto enrolls you and you have the opportunity to attend in person.
And if for some reason you can't attend in person, you do get access to the replay, but I learned so much about the mistakes I was making and about the ups and downs of dating and how to navigate this crazy world that when I started dating again, and when I had the right mindset, the right healing, the right growth, the right maturity, the right timing, these things started to come together.
When I started dating again, in less than two months, I met the man that I am now married to. When this podcast gets [00:06:00] published and I couldn't be happier about having him as part of my life and with being part of his life, it has just been an absolutely incredible experience that I have to help share everything I've learned and ways to help you, because this is something I see people post about daily.
This is something my clients ask me about how to navigate dating. This is something that causes all kinds of mind drama and insecurities and frustrations and people just get into these vicious cycles that they feel they can't escape from. So come join me on February 28th and learn how to stop making some of these mistakes that you probably don't even realize.
That you're making and let's attract the person that you're looking for once and for all. Once again, that's BraveWidow. com slash dating or it'd be on the email list, BraveWidow. com slash [00:07:00] free.
All right, let's get ready for today's episode of the Brave Widow show and my very special guest. A person that really is one of my favorite people in the world. She's a member of the Brave Widow membership community, and she does so much to give to others, to help promote others, to encourage and inspire and build relationships.
She. Is probably my number one advocate in the brave widow community and is always saying great things about the community and about our, our tribe of widows and what has meant to her. And she is just a natural encourager and someone who makes my life brighter every single day. So let me introduce you to Sue.
Now we did have Sue on the Brave Widow show. I believe it was episode 34 back in [00:08:00] June. And Sue has a very unique story when it comes to Valentine's Day, when it comes to hearts, when it comes to love and her journey. And so I invited her to come back on the show. Here we are. Seven ish months later recording this episode, because I think her story is so unique and I thought it would be a perfect fit for Valentine's day.
So let me introduce you again to Sue. Sue Peters is from Highland, Indiana. Valentine's Day is the three year anniversary of losing her beloved husband, John. She thought losing him on this day of love would make it even harder to deal with since it would pop up every year on the day everyone else is celebrating their person.
Thank goodness she was wrong. It ended up being such a blessing in disguise. Not only do hearts keep appearing in her life, almost as special gifts to make her smile, [00:09:00] but it also has helped her become aware of her own heart and how important it became to love herself 100 percent and to allow her heart to be healed after learning how to deal with her own broken and shattered heart.
It has led her to write a book that will be published this year about how A dream to marry her heart changed her life. Sue has learned so much walking on this road of widowhood being inspired and supported by so many widows sharing their own challenging stories from this brave widow community and rising up to face the journey in so many new and positive ways.
She has now found purpose in loving her own heart more deeply and in sharing with the hearts of others, encouraging more connection and courage to keep stepping forward. She is the mom of three wonderful adult children who are married to equally wonderful spouses and has three amazing grandkids and three lively grandpups and [00:10:00] loves any time she gets to spend with any or all of them.
You can find her online at susan peters. com and on Facebook at heart to soul links. And of course we'll provide all of these links in the show notes. Okay, let's dive in.
Hey, Hey everyone. And welcome back to another episode of the brave widow show. I have a very special guest today. In fact, this is her second time to come on the brave widow show. And she's one of the amazing widows and the brave widow community. It is Ms. Sue Peters. Sue, welcome back to the show and Hey, thank you for agreeing to do a second episode.
Sue Peters: Hey, thanks so much, Emily. I'm just so glad to be back and share time with you. I always enjoy having conversations with you and being part of your brave widow community. It has helped me step out and be a whole lot braver in widowhood and in my new life to come.
Emily Jones: Oh, [00:11:00] well, thank you. Well, for our audience.
Uh, one of the reasons I asked Sue to come on is because Sue also frequently shares her stories and she's going to tell you about all kinds of things that she's doing, so I'm not going to spill the beans, but, uh, Sue is just a very inspirational and encouraging widow and she has. A very unique story of loss and love that have happened around Valentine's Day that are centered around the heart and love.
And so I thought for our Valentine's Day episode, this would be, um, appropriate and an awesome time to have Sue come and share her story about the heart and the significance behind that.
Sue Peters: Sure. Um, I'll start it on, on a day of celebration of love, which was My son and his new bride to be's wedding, that is the day my husband got sick.
He was all ready to go, dressed in his tuxedo. He zipped my dress, I put his [00:12:00] bowtie on, and all of a sudden his stomach was hurting. He had pains in his stomach. We ended up calling an ambulance. He got sick. Didn't make it to the wedding, was sick for four and a half months, and then he passed away on Valentine's Day after a valiant effort of trying to survive and get through it all, but he never, never recovered, um, because his pancreas burst and, and took out all of his insides, except for his heart.
So at least his heart kept going through it all. And, um, it's kind of ironic because I threw it all. That's what broke for me, my heart. My heart got broken, shattered, splintered, crushed. And, um, so when he died on Valentine's day, I thought, oh, that's great. On top of everything else now. Now I have to think of Valentine's Day, the day of love, the day that everybody has their someone to celebrate, and now that's the day I lost my someone.
So at first it was like a pretty hard blow after everything else that happened, but as I started to get through [00:13:00] it all, I started realizing it actually ended up being kind of a neat blessing because In a lot of ways, hearts started showing up in just random ways. Like, I would see, like, a water droplet, it would be in the shape of a heart.
I would be, you know, cutting up mushrooms, and one was in the shape of a heart. I'd go pick my strawberries in the garden, one was in the shape of a heart. My brother in law and sister in law found two heart shaped potatoes in their potato sack for Thanksgiving and they saved them to give them to me on Thanksgiving.
They're like, John's watching over all of us. Um, they actually even took me on a vacation a couple of months after John died and, um, it was to Boston and to see their son and We kept seeing hearts show up along the way and windows hanging on trees. We found a flagpole that somebody had made this whole big red heart around.
And so we took a picture by it. Um, so, so we just kept laughing that, Oh my gosh, no matter, even though John died, it's like his heart is still touching our hearts and it was [00:14:00] like little love notes. And so I started looking at like, wow, that was kind of cool. He died on Valentine's day because now, although I can't celebrate that day with him, I get all these extra little notes and gifts.
And, and that's how I interpret them, you know, and so it can go however anybody wants it, but even this necklace that I'm wearing has a heart on it and the infinity sign, which I just happened to find while I was standing in line at Christmas. I wasn't looking for a necklace I wasn't doing anything but there was this part on this necklace and there was a message.
Attached to the to the box that said I will love you for always and forever and I'm like, oh my gosh It's like I'm getting a Christmas gift, you know So so the hearts just kept showing up and and for me it was a sign to say that that I need to let my heart heal and and so I started connecting into my heart a lot more and I learned that the more that your heart gets shattered and broken, that's the way the light gets in.
And so I, [00:15:00] I was letting the light come in and it was going deeper and deeper and deeper and it ignited something like really deep inside of me that I never knew was there, which was a way deeper love than I ever could have found just with John. Physically in this world and now connected to the divine part of John, it just like opened me to like, Oh my gosh, my heart can love even more.
So I connected to a dream to actually trust and love my heart like 100 percent because I'm like, I just want to do this. I don't want to stay broken. I want to, I want to go forward. And the way I felt I could do that was by committing myself to my heart 100%. So I decided to marry my heart and I, I bought a ring, a heart shaped ring that is called the radiant heart ring.
And it's, it, it, it was, oops, wrong way, . It was that you're, you can love yourself from the inside out. And so I created a ceremony. I took myself on a honeymoon.
Emily Jones: Okay, hold on. Okay. Because I . [00:16:00] Yeah. I think when people first hear that they're gonna do a little bit of a double take of how you decided to marry your heart.
So. Here we have, you know, kind of the start of this whole journey and process for you which started with recognizing a heart as one of your signs and things that you look for as a sign from John or a way to feel cherished and loved, even though you could have been bitter and cynical about losing him on Valentine's Day and now having associated the start of his illness with your own.
Um, Family's wedding and, and just, that could have been a spiral of misery and despair for you, but you were able to heal through that and embrace the fact that the heart and love was really going to be an important part of your story. So, when you. Tell people like, Oh, I decided to marry my [00:17:00] heart first.
What does that even mean? I know people will be super curious. And then how you really made that decision of what that means to you and what you would do
Sue Peters: next with that. Well, um, I was scared to tell people at first, I actually was just going to keep the whole story to myself. I'm like, I think they might think I'm kind of crazy.
So I was going to do that. And I, I was just very happy that I. I felt a hundred percent committed to myself at first, but what changed it was when I actually went on my heart honeymoon and I really had to face the trip of going by myself and taking myself on the first trip I had ever been on and to a place I'd never been to, to people I didn't know.
And it was, it was scary to step out and do that. But when I started meeting people, I decided to start sharing my story. And even though I was scared to do it, it started bringing their stories out. The very first person I met, I said, you know, I'm here because I lost my husband. And I, I'm, I decided to marry my heart and take [00:18:00] myself on a heart honeymoon.
She's like, Oh my gosh. And she put her hand on my shoulder and said, I lost my husband when I was 26 years old. And. I had three children and my mom and dad had to help raise my kids and then my mom got cancer and she died, but she became friends with this lady in Nebraska and we, and then I became friends with her and she goes, you're inspiring me to want to go see her and meet her in person.
So I started realizing that was telling my story. Allowed her to tell her story and I started doing that with people all through the town and we all had like our own special love stories in all different ways that that ended up connecting me and saying, Oh, if we all start sharing our stories, it, it goes deeper into the heart.
It's not just you. You know, hey, hi, how are you? Our stories connect to our hearts. And so then it's not such a sad story losing your person or losing something, you know, through grief in some way. You're actually allowed to start connecting into your heart in deeper ways. And that [00:19:00] I think is what made a difference for me, that it turned something sad into something, um, that could make a positive difference in other people's lives.
And And so it was just, it made me have the energy and the courage to want to go forward. It, it like brought the passion alive again.
Emily Jones: I love that. So what was it like, you know, going on this trip by yourself to a place you've never been and probably not having anybody telling you like good places to go or thinking about even your own safety as you're traveling alone?
What was that whole experience like?
Sue Peters: It was terrifying at first. I, I literally, I, I almost canceled a couple times because I'm like, I, I don't know if I can do this. You know, what if I get a flat tire? What if, what if I get there? And I, and I, you know, I don't feel comfortable in this place, and it, it was alongside a river and, and I, I just didn't know what to expect, but my heart kept saying.
Just trust just trust [00:20:00] and I actually had to get on the toll road and and and our toll road is like you have to go through these concrete gates and then there's the gate that lets you go once the light turns green. So I literally had to go through a gate. And I said to myself, once I go through here.
That's that's how my life's going to change. I can't look back because I'm going through the gate. So I did I went through the gate. All of a sudden, like I dropped all the heaviness and I'm like, Okay, I did it. I did the first step and I'm free now. And I got I went and I the rest of the time I even though I still had nervousness, I lost the big part of the fear because I'm like, Okay, I have the step I'm going and and once I Did I, I just felt so much freer and that was a good feeling.
Emily Jones: I love that, that you were intentional about what this trip meant and about taking that next step and what that would mean for you. Um, I know some people might be listening and they might wonder, maybe they're still [00:21:00] afraid that moving forward means. that they're betraying their loved one or they're leaving them behind.
Did you ever have those thoughts or fears or how did you, how were you able to overcome that if you did?
Sue Peters: Oh, I did. I did. Cause I felt like, I mean, part of me was like, well, first, like, how can I go on a trip without him? You know, we were supposed to retire together and go on a bunch of trips and, um, and, and then like.
You know, should I really be spending money and going on a trip, you know, and should I, you know, do, do I really deserve this dream after, after he suffered and died. So, and you know, it was all hard to do. I really did deserve to have some pleasure in life. Um, but as I, as I started letting go of that.
I started realizing it was, it was like the opposite was true. The more I let go, the more I felt like John was like right with me saying, do it, do it. You know, I'm right there with you. And he loved being by rivers. He loved being in nature and he loved talking with people. And so when I started to do that on this trip, [00:22:00] I'm like, I'm doing it, John.
I'm doing it. You know, I'm doing what you did too. And I can see the connection now. Why you liked being out in nature. Why you like being by rivers. Why you liked sharing the stories with people. It started connecting me actually more with him than less. And I, I actually felt that he was like right there.
Allowing me to have this experience and actually guiding me because like every single person I met, like, led me in a new way toward my heart and toward expansion. And so I felt like, thank you, John. Thank you for this. And I appreciate that. That I can learn who I am and my identity in a whole new way, but still be guided by him, um, and loved by him.
The love doesn't get less. It just kept growing, and it continues to since that day. Like, it's grown, like, in multitudes. I can't, I'll show you this really quick. I made this picture. Um, and for me, it's my it's like my heart and a lot of other people's hearts. We get [00:23:00] shattered. We get broken. It's we get bloody.
Um, and we get crushed and and we but if the light gets in once we allow it to come in, um, it it changes us. It like expands and it's almost like fireworks like it comes in and like the passion just gets stronger and and we start connecting to each other's stories of trauma and grief and hurt and pain And we start realizing we're not alone and we so many people have been down this road before us.
There's so many widows right now out there and I've met so many of them that are so beautiful and so many of them that are stepping forward. And, and it's like, because we allow the light to change us and All of a sudden we get like brighter and stronger and, and, and we have a capacity to hold more love and to not take love for granted and to want to spread it out to other people.
And, and so that is what I want to do like with my life. It's to honor John, to honor myself and to honor that, that love, [00:24:00] um, that we're all given, you know, we all have, all have the chance to. Take that choice to love, and, and that's how I want to continue giving to the world, and, and John opened me to that, and, and, and his heart, and Valentine's Day, like, all of that, to me, brings it to the surface even more clearly.
Emily Jones: Yeah, I
love that. And if, you know, you're listening and you're not watching the video, Sue is holding up this picture of a heart and it looks like a Phoenix, you know, almost coming up from the ashes. Like it's on fire and there are pieces that. We're shattered, but this light is coming through in a very bright and brilliant way.
And I think it's amazing. And sometimes it may be hard for people to wrap their minds around, you know, how can I feel closer to my person, even when they're not here, how can I love them more and continue to have that relationship, but your story, one of the reasons why your story is so amazing is because.
You [00:25:00] do refer to him as your, you know, guide from beyond or the person that's encouraging you. And it is sometimes, I think, difficult to imagine and a strange concept, but you can have a relationship with your person and you can feel their spirit very close to you, especially if you have your eyes open and you're looking for those opportunities.
Sue Peters: Yeah, yeah, I like to call it now my heart eyes like instead of worrying about what I don't see with my eyes because I don't see john anymore. But now I can see him with my heart eyes and, and that helps me to picture him and our love and in a whole new way. It's, it's, it's just almost like It's almost like getting married again in a whole new way, um, and living life and walking through life in a whole new direction.
And, and although I took it to mean marrying my heart, it, it just expanded my heart to John and to other people in a bigger way, so.
Emily Jones: That's awesome. [00:26:00] So what are some other signs that you've seen from him or instances where you've noticed a heart that's really touched you? I know you share a lot on your, um, blogs that you write, which are always amazing, but what's another one that comes to mind for you?
That's, that's really been special.
Sue Peters: Well, the biggest, not really the biggest, but a cool one that just happened was at Christmas. Um, I like to still have dinners with John or breakfasts with John every once in a while, like instead of like watching TV or turning on music, I'll put his picture in front of me, or our picture in front of me, and I'll eat with him.
So, so I was eating a breakfast. It was actually on New Year's, um, New Year's, uh, Eve. It was the last day of the year and we were in a car accident years ago. John had five surgeries. I don't even know how he survived that, but he did. So he kind of took it upon himself to always joke around that this could be my last day.
This could be my last day. And so, so I, I decided to have a last day breakfast [00:27:00] with him on the last day of the year. And so I made these little popovers and, and I went to go cut it open to put butter on it. And I opened it up and there was a hole that had blown through the bottom, but it was in a heart shape.
So I just. Like laughed and cracked up like, Oh, John, you're on the last day. You just got to get a last day joking. And so, so I took a picture of the bottom of the, of the pop over with our picture behind it and got a picture of us on, on the last day of the year. Um,
Emily Jones: That's awesome. And doesn't that just.
Like, make your whole day when you see those kinds of things that pop up.
Sue Peters: Yeah, it does. Yeah, I've seen like hearts in the clouds in the sky or like in the clouds with going toward the moon at night and it's, it's just, it's just like kind of fun. You just never know how, how it's going to show up.
Emily Jones: Yeah.
Yeah, that's
true. And I noticed that for me, if I And more intentional about keeping my eyes open or looking [00:28:00] for those things that it's easier to spot them and find them. And for those skeptics of you that are out there. Don't worry. I was very skeptical at 1st too. And I think I've mentioned that a few times early on in the podcast, but.
You know, I came to the realization that whether it's God, whether it's Nathan, whether it's, you know, something that brings love and joy and peace to me, the intricacies of it and what it is or isn't doesn't really matter at the end of the day, it just makes me feel close to Nathan and it just really brightens my day and reminds me of the love that we shared, which I think is Kind of the point.
So, you know, Sue, you've done such a great job, I think, sharing your story and Your vulnerability and experiences, um, would you like to share some of the other things you've done like your blog that you started and some other projects like what [00:29:00] inspired you to do those things and what all are you working on?
Sue Peters: Yeah, I was inspired. Um, mostly because once I started sharing my story and people started responding to it, I could feel like a shift in each of us as we would give and receive our stories to each other. And, and so I was like, you know, if I can do that. More and more places and touch more people in any way I can or help help them to see things in new ways Through my experiences.
I I just want to start writing about it. So I Um, I was in a group called reinvent yourself that we had to create something so I decided i'll create a facebook page and start writing on there my my own reflections and I wanted to call it Heart to Soul Links because I, I, part of it was like a connection to John and me because now I'm here and he's there, so Heart to Soul, but then the other part of it is, is that, that we also have to connect to our own, um, spirituality, our own, our [00:30:00] own inner guidance, the divine that's within us because sometimes we, we are disconnected and sometimes grief really disconnects us because it's, It's like you go through sometimes a crisis of faith when your loved one dies, like, well, where's God, you know, and why is he not helping me, and why are my prayers in vain, and, and it started making me see that that's not, that's not true, that it's all within us, and we can find it still, it's, and that's what can help us.
To get through all these things. So, so I started writing reflections and thoughts and the synchronicities that would come up and, and I made it a weekly thing. So I've been writing every Friday since May, um, on my heart to soul things page. And I've just been enjoying, um, interacting with people and connecting on new levels and, and just having an opportunity to share, um, which has led me to want to write my, write my book because I thought, well, that's even a.
And then, um, then you introduced me to the grappling [00:31:00] with grief website and I was able to write a publication for that which just came out today. So you can check it out on my page. And it also has gotten me into other groups where I can speak and share. Um, it's, it's just giving me a chance to, to put out the word to the world that we each have, have a message that we can give.
And each of us has a purpose. Each of us has love to share in some way, shape or form. And the more we step out, our love can make a difference. Our life can make a difference. Um, every single person has that opportunity to do that. And, and I just want to. Um, I don't want to say that you know, someone like me that last year wouldn't have been able to, you know, to to say I could do any of these things now has been able to step out and do a bunch of different things because I've been supported by so many different people that I've met along the way.
Emily Jones: Yeah, and would you say, you know, all of those new things that you've taken on, I've just had such a wonderful [00:32:00] time, you know, hearing you over the months of, Oh, I'm working on a book, which is amazing. And, Oh, here's the progress of how far I've gotten, or here's, you know, seeing you post your blogs on the Facebook page and things like that.
Like, you've really just taken those things and. You know, run with them and it's just really been inspiring to see you give so much back to help inspire and encourage other widows and it's just, just awesome to have what you blossomed in that way.
Sue Peters: Well, I've been inspired by other widows too. I mean, just being part of your community and the Brave Widow community and connecting with other widows that are also going through so many challenges themselves and they inspire me.
So, so I'm like, if they can inspire me, I'm going to keep inspiring other people also because, um, every one of our voices and stories is important and it always connects with somebody else. And, and I, I kind of say to myself, well, John gave me a really good story. I mean, he does. sick on [00:33:00] our son's wedding.
He dies on Valentine's Day and and all these hearts keep showing up. Well, what a great story this is to share. I can't waste it. That's kind of how I'm looking at it. Like it would be like almost worse if I don't share it because it's something that that can help other people because right away they they can connect into it and then then it helps them not to be so afraid of death.
It helps them not be so afraid of widows, because sometimes people are afraid of us, and it helps us to know that, um, that other people can connect with us on new levels, and we, we can lift some of the, the mystery of grief away from people and take away the, the sadness of it and help elevate it to something that could be positive and strong because it does make us stronger.
Um, I've grown, I'm not the same person at all that I was three years ago. And all the widows that I know are the same way. Um, we have grown into such amazing strong people and share our lives in so many new ways. And that changes the world one [00:34:00] person at a time.
Emily Jones: Yeah, it absolutely does. And it's so interesting to think about how if we'd not gone through this experience, you know, your, your book never would be published about this story.
At least you and I wouldn't be here talking today. You know, there are so many things that we wouldn't have done and ways we wouldn't have grown. Like, I don't know that I ever would have reached the potential that now I can even see for myself, even in the future, had I not gone through that. And even though it's not a choice that I would make to say, Oh yeah, you know, I want to go through that so I can, you know, be the best that I can be.
It's just really encouraging. I think to see that now we are able to prioritize the importance of family and friends and meaning and what we give back to the world. Whereas otherwise we were just maybe complacent or comfortable in our lives and not really thinking
Sue Peters: about those things. I'm starting [00:35:00] to get to the point, which is in a lot of my circles, that we have to get comfortable with discomfort and that's how we grow.
Um, you can't climb a mountain without a little bit of discomfort and, but when you get to the top, the view's pretty awesome, but it takes a long way to get, get up to the top. And, but you have to have the perseverance and, and the capacity to do that. But I think as widows we're given that chance and opportunity, not by choice.
But we are given that chance and we can choose from that thing that happened to us that, you know, we don't wish upon anybody, but we can choose to take that and make a difference in someone else's life or in our own life and, and, and see where it takes us. Um, I like to kind of think of it as our hearts get shattered.
But the shattering that goes all over the place can turn into little seeds. And, and the life and love of our loved ones that pass away can be the compost for those seeds to grow. And, and that, that helps to lift us up into [00:36:00] a new, Growth, a new person with a new identity that's ready to get stronger and stronger and grow into the world into something that that I see as being more beautiful than it ever was before.
And that it can, and it blossoms a little bit at a time, just like a flower and, um. And and in so many new ways. Um, it's it's like if you think of like a tree growing and and it all of a sudden has all these leaves on it. And what if they're all heart shaped and every single one of those leaves blows off to some other person, another person, another person.
Right now, I'm connecting with people all over the world that I never would have before because luckily we can do things online and I, my life has just been so inspired by all these amazing people and everyone's been through something. Um, and, and, but if our tree, our leaves, our flower can bloom and grow and another space and touch another life, even if it's only one other life.
Then, then to me, that's a huge, [00:37:00] huge thing.
Emily Jones: Yeah. I completely agree. And it is really inspiring to see so many other people that have gone through tragedy and trauma and yet they're generous and they give back to other people and they're trying to help and they're trying to encourage and they want others to know that they're not alone and it's just.
Amazing to see some of the connections and things that can happen from that. So tell the audience a little bit about your book that you've been writing and you know, what your thoughts are on getting it published. Cause that's super exciting. And you know, then maybe where they can find you and, or find your, your writings on Facebook and how they can just learn more about you and what you're doing.
Sue Peters: Okay. Um, yeah, the book that will be coming out, it'll be coming out probably late spring of 2024. So a few more months. It's, it's getting to the point where I'm wrapping it up now for the [00:38:00] first edit and it'll be called, um, The Miracle of Marrying My Heart, One Woman's Journey to Discover New Dreams After Loss.
And it'll be coming out by Flower of Life Press. I'm working with my publisher right now. Um, and, and she has helped journey with me along this. It's been a whole journey writing this book. It's not just been me writing it and then I turn it in. She has actually been journeying with me and other authors that are doing other writings, not just about grief.
Um, and, and it's been a whole eye opening experience for me. Um, as a person and me as an author to be here and, um, and it's exciting because it once again, it's connecting stories and, and seeing how that plays into the bigger picture and how we all affect each other because so many people that I've run into have experienced the death of someone that they love along the way while I've been writing this book.
And then I can share my story and it kind of connects them into it. So. I'm [00:39:00] excited to share it because I just feel like it, it will help open the doors for other people to see life and death in a new way and love how it can grow. Uh, I'm excited because for me, it's like, It's been like a miracle in my life to see that something so devastating can bring so much new life.
And, and that's the miracle of it for me. It's not like just a miracle, like something appears in front of me. It's the miracle of that I can actually transform my heart into something better. And, um, so that's what I want to share with the world. And it will be, um, like I have a website now, so it's. It's www.
susan peters. com. I kind of like to think of it as, you know what, it's like perfect for widows. You know how on our tombstone, it's like the year you're born, dash, the year you die. Well, mine is Susan dash Peters. So the dash is your life. The dash is the love. The dash is the important part. And so it's kind of neat that it turned out to be [00:40:00] susan peters.
com. And, um, so there will be updates on there about my book as, as it gets, um, you know, going. I, I have a couple of blogs on there. I will be adding more to it as time goes on, as a little bit of my story. And it's also got a connection link to my Facebook page, heart2soul links. Um, so it's all in one spot if that makes it easier.
Emily Jones: Yes. Thank you. And I still am just so excited and admire all the work that you've done with even getting your book to this point. And I know that it's something you wanted to do, but that doesn't mean it was easy. Journey getting there and, um, for anyone listening, we'll be sure to put the links of Susan's website and Facebook page in the show notes so that you can easily find those and refer back to them.
Go follow this woman. She is. Making things happen. So Sue, um, I just want to thank you again for coming [00:41:00] on for another episode, um, of the brave widow show and being willing to share your story on this very special Valentine's day episode. I could not have thought of a better person. I would have liked to join me for today.
So thank
you.
Sue Peters: And thank you so much for having me, Emily. And thank you, thank you for all of the support that you have given me since the very first day I met you. So glad that we had that opportunity. Of course.
Hey guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Brave Widow Podcast. I would love to help you take your next step, whether that's healing your heart, finding hope, or achieving your dreams for the future.
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[00:42:00] Inside you'll find courses to help guide you, a community of other widows to connect with, live coaching and q and a calls, and small group coaching where you can work on what matters most to you. Learn how to heal your heart, find hope, reclaim joy, and dream again for the future. It is possible. Head on over to brave widow.com to learn more.
