Episode 100
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Welcome to Episode 100!
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[00:00:00] Speaker: Hey, hey, and welcome to episode number 100 of the Brave Widow Show. Wait, what? 100? You guys! Oh, my gosh, just 18 months ago, November of 2022, I recorded the very first episode of the Brave Widow show.
Reflecting on the Journey
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[00:00:22] Speaker: And so much has happened in the course of these 100 episodes that I thought it would be helpful to just do some reflection.
On what Brave Widow looked like 18 months ago, what all has changed, all the exciting things that have happened, that are going to be happening, and what you can expect to see in the future.
Let's do this.
[00:00:45] Emily: Welcome to the Brave Widow Show, where we help widows find hope, heal their heart, and dream again for the future. I'm your host, Emily Tanner. After losing my husband of 20 years, I didn't know how I could ever experience true joy and excitement again for the future. I eventually learned how to create a life I love, and I've made it my mission to help other widows do the same.
Join me and the Brave Widow membership community and get started today. Learn more at BraveWidow. com
[00:01:20] Speaker: 100 episodes! I Ah! I can't believe it. I can't believe it. And I can believe it.
I'm kind of a stubborn person.
Overcoming Challenges and Persistence
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[00:01:33] Speaker: Or as I like to call it, very persistent, meaning that, you know, when you're recording episode number two and episode 17 and 31, and your videos are getting 10 views and one comment, and you just feel like you're really not getting a whole lot of traction, that can be super discouraging.
When I look at the quality of the content, and I wasn't happy with it, or I was afraid of what people would think, or I would have to keep pausing the recording to cry and wipe my tears and then resume the recording and keep talking. That was a really frustrating and difficult time, but I kept the future in sight, and I kept pressing forward, I kept taking that next step, and I'm so incredibly glad that I did.
Setting the Tone for the Episode
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[00:02:25] Speaker: Now I want to set the tone for how this episode is going to go. I'm going to share a lot of things with you that might sound like I'm bragging, might sound like I'm just really trying to talk myself up, but that's not the intention. The intention is to help encourage and inspire you that you can do great things too.
You can do big things. You can do new and scary and overwhelming things. And more importantly, If you don't, and you don't show up, and you don't cause the ripples In the water that you miss out on the opportunity to impact other people. You miss out on the opportunity to grow as a person. And I want to see you grow.
I want to see you accomplish really great things.
The tone and the intention of the episode today is number one to thank you for being an amazing subscriber, listener, watcher, member of the audience. And number two, to encourage you to do new things, to try scary, hard things, and ultimately to make a positive impact on people around you.
All right, so let's do some reflection.
Early Struggles and Growth
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[00:03:47] Speaker: When I started recording Videos and podcast episodes for the brave widow show. Let's just be honest. The audio is bad. I didn't have my microphone. Now, if you go back and look at my first episode, I do actually have my microphone in that one, but that wasn't the first one I recorded.
It's just the first one that came out. So if you flip, if you have watched the first few, or you go back and look at the first few, you can see the audio is not great. The video is not great. The thumbnails are not great. And There are a lot of little imperfections in each of those videos, but I knew I had to get out of my own way and make something happen. Look, I'm a perfectionist. I'm a high achiever. I want things to be professional. I want things to be as close to perfect as possible. And on one hand, that's great because my clients, my business partners, those people can know That I'm consistent, that I work with excellence, that I'm going to over deliver for them.
And, on the other hand, that means that I can get stuck. And so for a long time, I would just overthink all of the posts. I would be frustrated because, let's be honest, I'm not a designer. Okay, the social media images wouldn't look great. I really wasn't familiar with the strategy behind posting on social media and the times and how often and all of those things.
I wasn't as familiar with all of the features and the different software programs that I use and it would take hours and hours and hours. To produce a podcast episode that was 30 minutes to an hour long and to get everything scheduled and uploaded and edited and to present it in a way that I thought was okay.
And I had to get out of my own way and just Let, let things happen. I remember distinctly a time where I was just wanting things to be so perfect. And I was getting frustrated because I couldn't figure out how to make something look better. And the thought that I kept having was, this has my name on it.
This is a reflection of me. Like it has to have a certain look. It has to be to a certain standard because it's representing me. And I remember God putting it back into my heart and my mind. Well, wait a minute. Is this about you or is it about helping other people? And that moment really humbled me and reminded me that it isn't about me and that my Brave Widow community members, my clients, my audience, you don't expect things to be perfect.
In fact, sometimes it's kind of off putting if everything is perfect because then that person's not really relatable anymore. Everything doesn't have to be perfect and polished, it can still be professional, it can still look nice, it can still show an expectation of excellence and consistency and competence and still be relatable and still have hiccups.
I know several coaches who make hundreds of thousands of dollars or millions of dollars every year and on their website, There's typos every now and then on their submission form, sometimes they don't word things the right way. And so I use those examples to give myself permission to get out of my own way and let things happen.
Achievements and Milestones
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[00:07:22] Speaker: At 100 episodes later, I'm happy to share that during the lifetime of the Brave Widow show for podcast audio downloads, these are Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, we have had 11, 867 audio downloads. YouTube video views, 53, 702. And the watch time is 3, 965 hours. That is crazy! Now, my family is not really impressed because they're used to YouTube viewers
having millions of views or hundreds of millions of views or things going viral. So to some of my family members, that's not very impressive, but the fact that videos that I have out on YouTube have been watched over 53, 000 times in 18 months to me is really incredible. When I think about the individual, when I think about the client I have that tells me before she reached out to me for months, that she would listen to me on YouTube.
Um, Yeah, she wouldn't even watch the video. She would just lay in bed at night, close her eyes, hit play on the video, and just listen to me talk. And how it was so inspiring to her to hear me be able to talk about grief, and my story, and all the sad things that we sometimes have to talk about, and I could do it without crying.
I could talk about it like it was normal. I was able to Take steps and move forward and that was really inspiring to her and that's what caused her actually to reach out and now she's one of my clients and we have a great relationship And so, to me, that's who these videos are for.
It's for the person that needs that encouragement. For the person that needs hope that they're not alone. That there is light on the other side of this dark, dark valley of grief and horrific pain and sadness. That even though they can't fathom how they're going to get there now, It is possible and there is a way, they just need to be shown.
These episodes are for the widows who want to hear someone else's story. I've hosted many guests on The Brave Widow Show. I love hosting other guests because as a widow, it's so reassuring when you hear a story that sounds like yours. Maybe you lost your spouse to suicide. Maybe you have small children at home, maybe your spouse was an addict, maybe you've lost a second husband, you've been widowed twice, whatever your situation and your scenario, it's always encouraging and inspiring to hear someone else who's gone through a similar situation and to hear what advice and encouragement that they would have, that they would share with you as you're walking in some very similar footsteps.
Global Reach and Community Impact
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[00:10:28] Speaker: As I was going through some of my analytics and also looking at some of the people I've exchanged emails with or that I've had as clients, I want to share with you some of the top countries of people that I've interacted with. Some of these I never would have thought. So obviously I'm based in the United States.
That is the majority of where my audience resides, but here are some other top countries. Canada, the Philippines, United Kingdom, Australia, Germany, Italy. France, China, Croatia, India, Pakistan, Mexico. And when I look at video analytics, I could go on and on and on. For so many countries that are listed of people who are watching or listening to the show, which is just incredible.
Again, this isn't to say that I'm just so amazing, I've reached so many other countries, but it's just incredible the power of technology and the power of impact and reach that we can have to be able to connect with human beings that live in all these different countries is just amazing. The level of impact that we can have and the level of impact that I want you to have, especially if you feel called to do that.
Evolution of the Brave Widow Membership
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[00:11:48] Speaker: Now, when I first started BraveWidow, 18 months ago, I was, I built the BraveWidow community. It had maybe two or three courses in there. And,
I was trying to figure out how to actually sell it. So, very early on, I think this was a Black Friday deal, I ran this promotion called A Year of Hope. It was 7. And I thought, what an amazing deal! 7 for an entire year of support, of coaching calls, of courses that I'll continue to create, of connecting with other, what are you, connecting with other widows.
Like, this is gonna be, sell like hotcakes. And I sold a few. Then the cost of the membership was 17 a month, then 27, then 37, then 47. And now we are up to currently 97 a month for what's included in the membership. And then I have group coaching and also one on one coaching that can extend into thousands of dollars.
So I've come a long way in 18 months from offering an insane deal of 7 for an entire year. Worth of access to now being able to correctly package price and sell a higher level of access in the community and a higher level of access to me and one of our various coaching programs.
Currently Brave Widow and the Membership has six different courses, including the Dating Masterclass series that we just went through, which was a six part series and two Q and A sessions. So some of these courses are pretty beefy and give you a ton of information for finding your way to move forward or for how to do things like make new friends.
At my age that felt really impossible
And we also have seven workshops things like How to ask for help as a widow how to get unstuck from grief how to avoid burnout How to organize things and when to get rid of your spouse's things like all these different workshops that we've done everything is packaged in the membership community and Still at a very amazing rate, at the cost of 97 a month or 197 a quarter.
Each month in the community, I record a new topic. So this month, actually, on June 7th, I'm going to record a special on Father's Day and some ideas for things that you can do for Father's Day.
And some tips for how you can navigate when you didn't have a great relationship, or when your person was difficult, or stressful, or it was just really hard to manage life with them. How can you grieve and be honest about the type of relationship that you had, or the type of person that they were, when it feels like so many widows just idolize their husbands, think that they were perfect, believe they had this.
Great, beautiful relationship. And that leaves you feeling a little out of sorts. So I've got some tips on how to navigate that specifically to Father's Day and some major holidays. So you don't want to miss that.
So come join us in the membership community.
Future Plans and New Initiatives
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[00:15:07] Speaker: I'm going to open up a little bit here and be honest with you about how I've thought about the membership community and how I'm starting to think about it for the future and. I am going to continue to make changes as I grow and learn and adapt to better serve my clients and better serve people in the community.
So should the actual membership community. It should continue to grow, adapt, and change to be what my clients need within that community.
Now, when I was first thinking about the membership community and how I have structured that with Brave Widow, it's been very a la carte. Meaning that there are different courses in there, there are different workshops, I change up different topics that I teach, typically each month in the community. And the thought process was widows really come to me at different stages.
[00:16:01] Speaker: Some are early on, they're grieving, they're hurting, they want to unpack all of that. Some have maybe gone to therapy and feel that they've healed a lot with grief, but it's not helping them move forward. They don't know how to take those next steps and move forward in creating a life that doesn't suck.
To be honest, to creating a life that doesn't feel less than the life they had before, but a life that they can actually love. I have other widows that come to me because they've started to date, they're interested in dating and they really want to see like the best way to navigate that. Maybe they're feeling guilty.
Maybe they're struggling with all the emotional volatility that. can happen whenever you're dating someone. Maybe they want help navigating that journey.
Which is really where the Dating Masterclass series was born from, was some of those struggles and requests. So, in my mind, in the membership community, it was very much Come to the community, pull from whatever you need to pull from to learn about how to deal with certain topics, or how to identify really where you are in your journey, and then use our coaching calls or use our connection calls for when you get stuck.
When you have questions, when you're not sure how to move forward, when you're struggling and I along with other widows are available on those calls to give you feedback and to share our experiences and our stories or to just listen. If you need a listening ear and on one hand, I think that's been super helpful to the membership community and to the widows that are there.
I do get a lot of positive feedback that people are able to learn. They like being able to connect with other widows and I do feel very supported in that community. And what I've also been working on is mapping out a blueprint of sorts. I haven't decided on a name, but I have been working very diligently on my own intellectual property for a program that will take a widow from where she, or he, lives.
is at and move them forward to reach the place they want to be. So you've heard about the five stages of grief, and I've talked about how I've talked often here about how the five stages of grief isn't applicable to widows. It wasn't really meant for widows. It was really meant for, and created for someone who was given a terminal diagnosis and was treated.
Trying to come to acceptance on their own death.
And what that does is it can cause confusion with a lot of widows because there isn't a blueprint, there isn't a set of steps that you can follow to know if you're on the right path to know if you're moving forward, to know exactly what you need to do. And there are many reasons for that.
[00:19:08] Speaker: I've done other podcast episodes about why that is. The simplest reason to share here is that we all have our own unique journey, our own past traumas, our own unique experiences that can make these stages and this journey a little murky and a little unclear on how we need to move forward.
But, I have been working hard on mapping out stages. Different stages of widowhood and I haven't seen really anything like this. If you have seen something like it, please send it my way because I would love to investigate it and see if it matches up with what I've come up with so far, but I'm working on the stages of widowhood from where we go from utter devastation and feeling that life is pointless and there's no hope and we want to die with our person and we think that we'll never be able to laugh again.
Through the point. That some of us get to, not everyone does, everyone could, if they, if they wanted to put in the work, but to the point where you love life again, you're excited about the future, you're working on chasing new dreams, you're taking new, on new adventures, and you're creating this very full and robust life.
There is a huge chasm between. Stage of devastation and that stage of abundance and clarity and peace and love. And so my vision has been mapping out really a roadmap or a blueprint of how someone can go from devastation to, let's just call it abundance. Abundance, meaning. More than I thought possible, more than I could have hoped for, more than just okay with how my life is now, but overflowing and abundantly full.
And I've identified four stages for now. We're in the rough draft version. But as Brave Widow continues to mature and evolve and adapt to what best serves our clients, I recognize that a dedicated program is very much needed. I love coaching my one on one clients. I love talking to them every week.
I love getting to see the transformation that they go through and to hear directly their feedback every week. And I know that my time is limited. I know that if I, even if I maxed out my schedule and helped more and more with those one on one, there was still be a limit to what my impact could be,
which is why I really feel the
urgency and the call around creating a structured program and group coaching container to best help support my clients and to be able to help them move forward at scale.
I'm really excited about this because I'm still going to integrate a level of personalized coaching and support throughout a group coaching container. So people will get direct feedback from me on which exact next steps I would take to move forward, which courses that I would participate in, what specific next steps that they could take
so that they don't feel overwhelmed, confused, lost in the crowd. They don't feel like they are just Out there in a sea of people. I'm still going to take a very hands on and personalized approach as we start up these group coaching containers.
Now, I don't want to cause anyone to panic or to worry, especially anyone who's currently a member of the Brave Widow community. You will see some pricing changes with the community and the coaching moving forward, but if you are already part of the Brave Widow membership community, the level of access, the level of calls, the things that you have, That you experience and you have access to today and your pricing will not change So long as you stay a member you are grandfathered in you are still part of the community and What you see today and what you see here in the near future You're going to continue to have access to that price forever as long as you remain a member of the community Now if you're not part of the community of the membership community today This is the time to join This is the time to lock in your price.
[00:23:53] Speaker: Currently it's 97 a month or 197 for three months. So you basically, Get one month free if you sign up for the quarterly plan That currently gives you access to the six courses that we have the seven workshops All of the past live events and calls that we've done It gets you access to two connection calls twice a month and also to a third call where we go over different educational topics.
So June the 7th, I'm going to be going through the tips on Father's Day. In July, I'm going to go through some, I'm going to teach you how to become a competent traveler. So whether or not you've If you've ever traveled confidently before, or now that you're, now you're having to rebuild that confidence, you're going to have the tools that you need to be able to move forward and build your confidence in traveling solo, or if you're like me, towing along a herd of children as part of that.
So if you've been on the fence about whether or not you should join the membership. Number one, the answer is yes. Number two, this is the time to join because you have a lot of access to things for really what is still an incredible rate of 97 a month or 197 for the quarter.
The prices will not remain at that price for forever. But if you are currently a member , or you join at that rate, you'll still get access to all of those same things each month. And regardless of what the price increases to in the future. Or how that shifts and changes, you are not going to lose access to what you have now, nor will you have a price increase so long as you're a member of the community.
So this is really, really important. The time to join.
Also, this is exciting news to some people who have reached out to consider one on one coaching and maybe it was more expensive than you thought. Maybe it wasn't the right time for you. Maybe you enjoy being in a group container better, but in the near future, you're going to see some information around a group coaching program, which Accessible and affordable than one on one coaching because it is easier to scale and it is less time intensive on My part and your part
[00:26:20] Speaker: . If you are part of Brave Widow, or you want more than the membership community, you want more access, you want more support, you want more accountability to taking those next steps and moving forward. Once I finalize the details of the program, once I finalize the offer of group coaching, you all will be the first ones to hear about it.
As I continue to serve my clients in the community, I continue to make changes on what is needed to help propel people in the community to move forward. And so that will continue to be a staple within that community.
And I know it can help you like it has helped so many other people
[00:27:00] Speaker: all right.
Personal Accomplishments
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[00:27:00] Speaker: Now I want to share some of the things that I personally have been able to accomplish during the time of these last 100 episodes. And again, this isn't a way, and again, this is a way to help encourage you that if I can do these things, that you can do these things and I can help you get there.
Over the past 18 months, I've gained two professional accredited certifications, one from the Faith Based Coaching Academy and one from the Grief Recovery Institute. And I'm working on a third one, but that one's a secret. I haven't told anyone what that one is yet, but I've got a third one that's coming up soon that I'm super excited about finishing up in August.
I've invested in real estate. I had never really invested in real estate before, I was always curious about it, but I joined a local real estate group, I learned a lot, I built some great relationships, and I invested and purchased some properties. I also, this year, had converted some of those long term rentals into an Airbnb.
I've completed one and I'm working on two more that are going to go on Airbnb or another short term rental situation here shortly. I'm super excited about that. In February, I got married to Robert and we got to have an amazing honeymoon in Turks and Caicos and just see the most gorgeous blue, clear, amazing water.
I am so spoiled with that ocean and that beach. I don't know how I'm going to go. Back to another ocean with water that's not so clear like it was just beautiful and of course the experience with Robert and the life that we are building together has just been so amazing and I'm so grateful for all of that.
I also inherited his son, Chase, as an amazing bonus son. So I have five kids now, which sounds insane and wonderful. And I'm loving every minute of that.
I'm going to be speaking in October to a group in the grief industry that typically has attendees of five to six thousand each year, and I am super excited about that.
[00:29:16] Speaker: I hired a coach to help me with my speech and to help me prepare for that. And I'm working on another secret project, so I can't spill the beans on exactly what that is. That's going to be a few months from now that I can share. What that secret project is, but I've had a blast working on that. And I'm excited about sharing that with you in the future.
All right.
Testimonials and Encouragement
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[00:29:39] Speaker: Lastly, I want to read you things that widows are saying about brave widow, about the, the coaching, the community membership and this show. Because I think it's so easy for us to get caught up in the day to day routine and the monotony of what we're doing and just the rhythm and the routine of things that it's easy to forget that what we are doing has an impact not only on ourselves, but on other people around us.
And I'm so honored to Not only receive this positive feedback, but to be able to share it with you.
If I hadn't continued the show, if I had given up, if I had thought, Oh, just ten people are seeing my video, no one's commenting, no one's sharing, no one's engaging, if I'd given up, then In all likelihood, a lot of these widows never would have heard about me. They never would have had access to these resources and who knows how long that they would have continued to try to find someone who could best support them.
Emily is an awesome support to widows who are grieving as a coach, mentor, fellow widow, and someone who has created and holds a sacred space of understanding, caring, guidance, and love. I am so much healthier, stronger, and further along today in my journey than I would have been without her encouragement and support.
Early on, you actually changed the definition of widow for me, and allowed me to embrace this new identity with love. To have the courage to step out and be myself in many new ways.
I am so glad to be part of this brave widow community, which is full of so much love and support. Regardless of how long you've been a widow, if you need support and encouragement, this is the community to help you. I promise.
Thank you so much. You addressed the majority of my worries just today, the very first day. These sessions are very timely for me. Those are a few of the testimonials and the positive feedback that I get from widows that I get to interact with on a regular basis. And again, I just want to encourage you, what kind of impact could you be having on the people around you? Maybe you don't want to start a business.
[00:31:52] Speaker: Maybe you don't want to become an author or a podcaster or any of those things. That's perfectly okay. I have been blessed to see so many widows become authors. Start a side hustle, start a business, start coaching other widows, helping children move through grief, helping with grief camps, giving back to other people in such a beautiful and generous way.
And it's just been so inspiring to be able to see that. Now, maybe you don't want to build a business. You don't want to host a podcast. You don't feel called to write a book or any of those things. And that's perfectly okay.
As I think about these types of comments that I receive for widows that I work with, I think if I had not If moved forward, if I had not tried to serve as an example of what's possible, if I had not put in the time and the energy and effort to stumble through the podcast episodes, to figure out the technology, to persevere when it didn't look like things were working out.
[00:33:00] Speaker: really going to be very successful to keep learning and investing in my own growth and knowledge and awareness, then how much longer would these widows have had to wait to To be able to move forward themselves, to feel supported emotionally and mentally as they move forward, to learn how to navigate some of the greatest challenges that we go through in grief.
How much longer would they have had to wait? Where would they have found other help and support? And so I ask this question, not just of myself, but of you. So, Even if you're, even if you
think about the people who see you every day, whether it's your children, your siblings, your co workers. your family or your friends, you have the opportunity to create a beautiful and full life after suffering one of the greatest traumas someone can, losing their spouse. You have the opportunity to have a full, robust, vibrant, beautiful life that you love.
And that serves as an example for other people that they can love their life too. That if you can overcome some of these hardships and struggles and Arrive to an amazing place that maybe they can too.
Final Thoughts and Call to Action
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[00:34:24] Speaker: So again I just want to thank you so much for being part of this audience For being part of the community for being one of my clients that I get to work with you all are amazing I am so honored and humbled that you have joined me on this journey On this journey of creating brave widow and through the growth and the changes that we've gone through.
I'm extremely grateful for you. And I can't wait to see what amazing things continue to happen in this community.
[00:34:56] Emily: Are you a widow who feels disconnected? Do you feel like you're stuck or even going backwards in your grief? Widowhood can be lonely and isolating, but it doesn't have to be. Join us in the Brave Widow membership community and connect. We teach widows how to find hope, heal their heart, and dream again for the future.
Find your purpose and create a life you love today. Go to bravewidow. com to get started.
